Issue date: 9/29/04 Section: Opinion

Every Friday or Saturday night, a girl has two distinct choices:

Option A: Matrix or Beirut?

Option B: Cry on the cell or fight online?

Call me crazy, but I'm a big believer in Option A. Seems like a no-brainer, right? Who would want to sit on the phone crying to a boyfriend back home, or fighting with him on the Internet because their cell-phone doesn't get service in the dorm?

But that's what happens here at Suffolk every weekend.

Fortunately, in my case, having the roommate with the GBH (Guy Back Home) reminds me that I'm just happy to be single.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Think about it: While the girls in the dorm are dressing up in their nicest (or tightest) clothes, the GBH's girl is sitting in her sweats, sweet-talking her boy: "I miss you so much" one minute,

"I can't help that you're here and I'm there!" the next minute (with tears, of course).

It's all a big charade- everyone knows they'll be done by Columbus Day, Thanksgiving at the latest.

But they keep holding on. Meanwhile, they're missing out on what college is really about- dressing in slutty outfits to get free drinks, or getting hit on by foreign guys who may or may not be in Al-Queda.

These girls think that "going out" means "not being fair to my boyfriend."

The way I look at it, they're likely having the exact same conversation they had the night before, almost like a dating version of Groundhog Day.

The only way to keep it interesting is if someone says something in the wrong tone, or the girl gives a slightly different answer then normal, which is when the nightly drama begins:

GBH: "What's your plan for the night?"

GIRL: "I'm just grabbing dinner in a few minutes."

GBH: "Wait, so you're hanging up with me to grab dinner???"

And then, all hell breaks loose. They fight for a solid hour. She skips dinner.

They say every clever, mean, vicious thing that comes to mind.

Continued...

Page 1 of 2 next >

Article Tools