Issue date: 10/14/04 Section: Opinion

People suck. I am just going to lay it all down on the line for everybody. Most people you will encounter along your road of life are jerks, idiots, morons, complete assholes or just plain bothersome and annoying. I just want to highlight some cases in point.

Those people who ask me if I want to support John Kerry for president. This just bothers me, not because I like or dislike John Kerry but because it is Massachusetts. Kerry does not need help in this state. Does anybody really think Kerry will not carry this state? Go to New Hampshire where Kerry actually needs the help you morons. They usually don't like it when I tell them this.

Retail seems to be full of these people. As some may or may not know, I work at CVS. I wear as part of my uniform, a bright blue polo shirt with the red CVS logo emblazoned on the chest. Yet everyday I get people asking me "do you work here" every hour of every day. What the hell do they think I'm doing? I have a blue CVS shirt on and a price gun in my hand. My usual responses of "no, I actually volunteer here" or "actually this bright blue CVS shirt is the latest club fashion" seem to fall on deaf ears, since I have the same customers ask me that question every other day!

That brings me to driving. Here is where you meet the real beauties of life. A few days ago I was behind a person driving obnoxiously slow. He made me miss the green light, but he was taking a right so he got to go because of the right turn on red law. I then yelled at him that he made me miss the light. He pulled over, walked over to my car and tapped on my window. I rolled down my window and he asked me if I had anything to say to him.

I then proceed to explain I was latemeeting with a friend and his obnoxious driving caused me to miss the light. He then said and I quote "I don't give a fuck" and he spit on my car.

That was real nice of him. I then speed into the nearby parking lot to get of the way of on coming cars, got my beating pole, jumped on the roof of my car and proceeded to call him out. He then got in his car and speed away.

What a jerk. If he had the gall to spit on my car, at least he could have had the balls to fight me. He wasn't so tough when he saw I had steel pole in my hand.

This brings me to the all-important question, who is the biggest asshole, idiot or jerk? The answer is each of us is in some way. We have to look into our own actions. I could have handled all of the above situations very differently.

All the times I beeped and yelled at other drivers, or gave wise ass responses to questions that I think are stupid, I was also being an asshole. Remember it takes two to tango.

So next time you mutter to yourself "what an asshole," think to yourself "was that really necessary."

Oh and that guy who spit on my car? If I see him on the street I'm going to beat him senseless with my bare fists and then wipe my bloody hands clean with his shirt. Sometimes it feels good to be an asshole.

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