2008 Woodie Awards
Unique costumes for all
Humorously Speaking
Michael Fruzetti
Issue date: 10/27/04 Section: Opinion
Although our age prohibits us from going door-to-door for candy, we are never too old to dress up on Halloween. You might need a few drinks beforehand, but whatever it takes to get you into a ridiculous costume.
There is only one problem, who really wants to spend $50 or more on a costume when it is never going to be worn again? So, I have decided to throw some cheap, do-it-yourself costume ideas your way.
Many females like to dress up as their favorite male sports players, but jerseys and other uniform memorabilia can become very expensive. I have come up with a way to look like a professional athlete and all you need is an overcoat, wig, blue marker and paper.
When you buy the wig, make sure it is somewhat curly and white and find a long coat or suit jacket. Simply put on the wig and coat, place a blue #5 on your back and there you have it. You have transformed yourself into Nomar Garciaparra, Boston's own Benedict Arnold.
Contrary to common belief, party-goers don't like girls to be wearing the same sexy devil and provocative schoolgirl outfits. Instead of going along with everyone else, I urge you girls to try something new that can still be sexy. Instead of dressing up as Cinderella, throw some torn and ratty clothes on your body. Don't be a sweet and innocent bunny. Be the aggressive lion or tiger that is going to have its way with that puny and pathetic bunny. What I'm trying to say is, you can still look sexy without looking good, so be original.
Males have a wide variety of costumes that can be put together with ease, as long as you don't mind embarrassing yourself; but isn't that what Halloween is all about? My classic favorite is very affordable and sure to get people's attention. It consists of the end of a broomstick, a graduation robe, a white piece of paper and a Boy's and Girl's Club hat. Simply put the broomstick end inside your pants pointing out, place the graduation robe and white collar on your neck, along with the hat on your head. Instantly you have transformed into a pedophile priest, which is sure to get a few laughs and disgusted looks.