2008 Woodie Awards
Weathering the Storm
Humorously Speaking
Michael Fruzetti
Issue date: 11/10/04 Section: Opinion
Ok, so the weather is changing, there is a major flu vaccine shortage in America and the high temperature in New England fluctuates by 40 degrees everyday. Since this happens every year, why have we yet to get accustomed to this?
Now that it is November and the winter is creeping in, I've begun to realize how much I dislike those people who still can't cope with New England weather.
I despise those 135 lb., 5'6 businessmen that carry canopy-sized umbrellas. You know, the umbrella that covers the person holding it along with the other five people standing beside them who are also holding umbrellas.
Doesn't that jackass realize they use that umbrella to cover the gurney carrying a 300lb. pregnant woman from the parking lot to the maternity ward. Don't get me wrong, it has other uses. I've seen caddies holding it above their golfer and bag, but I don't see Tiger Woods standing next to him, swinging a five iron.
When we get to November that's when it starts getting interesting and you'll see even more asinine people walking the streets. You have to love those who are bundled up in Michelen man snowsuits on a 48-degree morning, knowing that the temperature is going to increase 20 degrees throughout the day.
Give me a break people. You can wear a sweatshirt and jeans if there are people running along the Charles River wearing shorts and a long sleeve T-shirt.
There is no need to have two scarves, five layers underneath your down jacket and thermals under your wool pants. Are you trying to go for the Ralphie look from "A Christmas Story?"Another weather casualty is snow, which makes students feel it is unnecessary to attend classes when two inches of powder hits the ground.
We will wake up in the morning around 6:00 O'clock, which happens to be the only time a college student will be awake before 7:30 and check the local school cancellations.
When we discover Suffolk has only postponed classes for one hour and Emerson has cancelled all day classes and activities, we, regardless of already being awake for class, decide to sleep in for the morning.