Issue date: 12/8/04 Section: Opinion

Towards the end of every year, we all decide that there are things in our life that should be changed. These New Year's resolutions have worked for me in the past, so I have taken the initiative to identify some problems around Suffolk which need to be resolved.

First of all, before I really get started, what is going on with the Sawyer building's men's room urinals? There are two positioned against the wall, with one around two and a half feet tall and the other a foot from the floor. Are you kidding me? I don't recall seeing circus midgets or jockeys around campus, so I don't see the point of having the midget urinals.

Another problem I have, is holding my exposed manhood one foot away from another man that is doing the exact same thing. It's bad enough I have to kneel down to relieve myself, so how about a little divider for some privacy?

Next on the list is my problem with professors, because of course there is always one teacher that manages to destroy every student's GPA. We take these little things called teacher evaluations at the end of each semester, so how about utilizing these ratings. Also, any professor that uses "midterm 1" and "midterm 2" should automatically be fired. Midterm is halfway through the semester, so how is it possible to have two of these exams? Any professor that can't perform basic fractions should be fired and sent back to the third grade.

Recently in my organizational behavior class, we discussed the problem with students smoking cigarettes directly in front of the Sawyer Building. Now that the temperature is dropping, they do not like standing out in the cold and therefore block the doorways. Personally, I don't have any problem with smoking, however, I do not enjoy inhaling second-hand smoke.

Here's my solution. Most students who smoke and those who do not, also drink in a social atmosphere. How about using a portion of our tuition for something that everyone might find useful; a bar. You never see students using many of the resources in the Sawyer Library, but everyone would utilize the benefits of having a bar on campus.

Finally, we need to improve on the registration process. Suffolk, as always when it comes to registering for classes, turns this simple process into Operation Suffolk Screw Up. Most students, including myself, attempt to register for classes every semester, but always encounter problems.

We received a message reading, "maximum number of users reached; try again later." This has prompted me to write this article, because damn it, I want changes!

I want the president of the university to make these changes his New Year's resolution. He is a slender guy and I don't believe he smokes, so I know losing weight and quitting tobacco use won't be an issue.

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